Loneliness is a complex and unique emotion, as it has various causes. When a person starts to feel lonely, they generally also start feeling ashamed and consider themselves losers. People who start believing this, become reluctant to go out and meet new people, which makes them sit at home and feel more lonely.
If you often feel lonely and unloved, here are a few tips that can help you overcome these unwanted feelings:
1) You Are Not Alone
If you feel lonely, do not think that you are unusual or that something is wrong with you. Around 40 % of people worldwide are probably feeling the same. We know this does not make you feel better, but it will help you realize that you are normal, and nothing is wrong with you.
2) Thoughts You Have When You Feel Lonely
It would help you to identify and write down the negative thoughts you get when you feel lonely. Once you identify them, find rational explanations for those thoughts. For example:
- “I will never find anyone and will always be alone.” – You won’t be alone forever, you might meet people at work, school, or just while waiting in a line.
- “I have to feel sad when I am alone.” – Just because you are alone doesn’t mean you have to be sad. You can enjoy your own company and keep yourself busy with something productive.
- “I am a loser for being alone.” – Being alone is a situation and doesn’t reflect on you.
3) Spend Your Alone Time Wisely
Instead of dwelling in your loneliness, you can use that time to do something that you enjoy. It can be reading, baking, cooking, shopping, fishing, etc. You can also master a new skill and use it as a means to connect with others. It is easier to talk and find people who have similar interests.
4) Stay off the Internet
Lonely people try to form online relationships to substitute real relationships. Such people put so much effort and energy into forming relationships online, they often forget about real people around them. Connections made on the internet might feel engaging, but they are often dissatisfying.
5) Don’t Miss Social Cues
Sometimes, lonely people get so wrapped up in their heads and the feeling of loneliness that they seem to miss positive social cues. They miss out on someone trying to give them attention and signals for a friendship. When people do not pick up on such positive cues, they deprive themselves of a possibly beautiful relationship.
6) Focus on Other’s Needs and Feelings
Rather than feeling bad about how lonely you are and feel, try to focus on helping others with their problems and life. This will effectively combat loneliness.
7) Setting Realistic Expectations
Do not expect others to call you, spend time with, and share details of their life with you constantly. If you expect such things, you will be disappointed. Even if you get limited time to spend with a friend or a loved one, think about ways to make it enjoyable. Everyone is busy with their life and work, so be realistic and do not blame them for not spending as much time as you would want them to.